Dear Ladies,
As a man, I have learned one very important lesson in life that I feel has escaped the curriculum vitae of your existence so far.
Before I put my naked, glistening ass on ANYTHING, I thoroughly examine the area to see if there are any sharp or gooey spots, or if there is a hole where I would expect to find firm purchase.
It is my considered opinion that this may be a helpful policy even during those times when my tender, pink, hairless buttocks are clad in denim and/or cotton, but it is especially recommended when my meat pillows and wedding tackle are exposed to the dark, cruel light of the world.
To assist in the conditioning of this possibly life saving habit, I am available for a nominal fee, enough to cover gas and expenses for the duration of the course, which will last until you "get it", to move into your spare bedroom, garage, attic, couch, or boudoir, as is deemed appropriate and proper, and leave surprises around the house in places your buttocks are likely to come into contact with.
Nickelodeon SLIME on the toilet seat, with the plunger left in the bowl, perhaps.
Or whoopee cushions on your makeup valet, and thumb tacks in your drivers seat.
These would be left, not in a spirit of malice, but simply to accelerate the learning process.
Or you could just learn to look at things before you sit on them.
Sincerely,
TJ
1 comments:
you something else...something more,very funny.
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