Three Kinds of People

Human nature and experience is usually best summed up and communicated through pithy, sweeping generalizations and clever pie charts, supported with bullshit, unverifiable statistics pulled straight out of the rotten, stinking asshole of common wisdom.

It is in that tradition that I present to you my own simple classification system for people, as relates to how they judge my actions and efforts in life.

The worth of the information is usually in calibrating my behavior and improving the fruit of my creative labors. Your mileage may vary.

There are three kinds of people, cosigners, haters, and other.

Co-signers

Co-signers love everything I do. No matter how droll or rudimentary, something about the way our personalities mesh means that they are instantly in love with and approve of everything I'm putting out there. You could call them enablers or cheerleaders, even. They can be either positive or negative influences. If I'm beating myself up and not appreciating what I've got to offer, then a visit to the co-signers is great, because it helps me feel better. If I'm comin with some straight bullshit, then they are the most dangerous sorts of people to be around. They will give me plenty enough rope to hang myself with.  If they start telling me to slow my roll, I know I'm in some serious doo-doo. Co-signers are about 10% of the people I know in my life.

Haters

Haters gotta hate. That's what they do, and they do it well. No matter how perfect something is, a hater is always gonna find something wrong with it, and you know what, I fucking love them for that.

Why do people hate? Who knows. Maybe I did something legitimately wrong to them, and they have a resentment they just can't let go of. I'd put my ex-wife in that category. Maybe they just aren't happy with themselves and need to hate other people to feel better. Maybe they're just jealous because they want something I've got and don't know how to get it for themselves, like my Mommy always told me.

Haters will hate, regardless, so I don't really listen to what they have to say. They only serve to make me want to do better, so I can get more haters. I keep score by how many I can gather. I also think it's a supreme victory whenever I can manage to recruit a hater over to the co-signer's side of the fence. Haters are also about 10% of everyone I know.

Other

The other 80% of people are what I like to call "Other". They honestly do not give a shit, and this is why they are so valuable. Others are wrapped up in their own lives, they have things to see and people to do, so if I can catch their attention, and then, by some miracle of "Bob" solicit an honest opinion, it's a blessing of unparalleled goodness, regardless of what that opinion may be.

With these, there is a simple rule that I use. If one person tells me I'm fucking up, I can safely ignore it. If two do, then there's possibly a chance I need to look at things. If three do, then I'm in serious need of some self-examination.

These people are "the middle" that politicians try to appeal to during election cycles, and the place from which future co-signers and haters are drawn. If I'm lucky, they'll stick around long enough to let me know what they think in comments or conversation. If I'm super lucky, then they'll be my friend and go to dinner with me, or subscribe to the blog by email so they can read Guacamole Baseball for free.